Ep. 245 Let them be wrong about you

What do you do when someone has a negative opinion of you—and you know they’re wrong?

For high-achieving people, especially surgeons and leaders, it can be incredibly uncomfortable to be misunderstood. We want to explain. We want to correct the record. We want people to understand our intentions.

But spending your time trying to change someone’s opinion can pull you into a cycle of defending, explaining, convincing, and people-pleasing.

In this episode, Amy Vertrees, MD, explores what it really means to let people be wrong about you without ignoring useful feedback or abandoning your responsibility to yourself.

You’ll learn how to:

• Decide whose opinions actually deserve your attention
• Separate useful feedback from someone else’s story about you
• Stop defending yourself and shifting into “convincing energy”
• Use criticism as an opportunity to become more effective and authentic
• Know when to speak up and defend yourself
• Recognize when it’s time to leave a relationship, job, or environment
• Avoid becoming consumed by workplace conflict and other people’s opinions
• Build greater self-trust and stop making someone else’s opinion your identity

The goal isn't to become someone who never cares what other people think. The goal is to become better at deciding whose opinions deserve your attention—and what you want to do with them.

Sometimes you learn from the criticism. Sometimes you stand up for yourself. Sometimes you leave.

And sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop trying to win a game you no longer want to play.

For women surgeons navigating difficult colleagues, leadership challenges, workplace conflict, and the pressure to be liked, this is a reminder that you don't have to spend your life convincing everyone to understand you.

You can let them be wrong about you—and keep becoming more of yourself.