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Ep. 193 Health conversations you can't ignore with Tammy Stokes, MSN

Episode Summary:

In this deeply moving and practical episode, palliative care nurse Tammy Stokes shares how a personal health crisis at age 36—nearly 100% blockage in three arteries—transformed her career and mission in healthcare. Now an advocate and leader in palliative care in Tennessee, she brings firsthand experience and clinical insight to the often-avoided conversations about serious illness, family dynamics, and end-of-life care.

Tammy discusses:

  • The difference between palliative and hospice care

  • The emotional and spiritual impact of critical illness on patients and families

  • Why advanced care planning is essential—at any age

  • How her personal experiences with her father and brother shaped her philosophy of care

  • Tools from her book, including scripts to start hard conversations

  • The power of patient autonomy and how to honor it in clinical practice

Whether you’re a surgeon, nurse, or family caregiver, this episode equips you to lead hard conversations with courage, compassion, and clarity.

🧠 Key Topics:

  • [00:00] Introduction to Tammy Stokes and her book

  • [00:03] Her personal health crisis and its impact

  • [00:06] Transformation into a more compassionate nurse

  • [00:12] Transition into palliative care and first patient experience

  • [00:17] Scripts and strategies for difficult conversations

  • [00:22] Creating communication plans with patients and families

  • [00:31] Handling family disagreements and honoring patient wishes

  • [00:35] The case for early and ongoing advance care planning

  • [00:39] Real-life stories of honoring her father’s and brother’s end-of-life preferences

📘 Resources Mentioned:

  • Break the Silence: Health Conversations You Can’t Ignore by Tammy Stokes

  • Tennessee Palliative Care Advisory Council

  • Hospice and Palliative Care Nurses Association

📌 Takeaways:

  • Start the conversation before the crisis.

  • Honor what patients want, not what we fear.

  • Be vulnerable—it opens the door to trust and truth.

  • Scripts and structured communication can reduce fear and overwhelm.

🔗 Connect with Tammy:

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