Episode 9: Transitioning out of surgery, self-care and boundaries with Dr. Victoria Silas

Dr. Victoria Silas is a pediatric orthopedic surgeon who is transitioning from her role as a surgeon to a coach. She has great advice for things you can do right now to enjoy your surgical career, extending the life of your surgical career, and transitioning out of surgery.

Dr. Silas struggled with boundaries and her identity early in her career. She decided to become a coach through Martha Beck's program (fun fact- the author of this month's bookclub). This allowed her to continue in her career as she learned the lessons of putting herself in the equation and doing something for herself each day. She learned to focus on her identity outside of surgery, which helped her as she transitioned out of surgery. 

She shares her thoughts on perfectionism, how she "wasn't perfect enough to be a perfectionist" and strategies she has for boundaries, and advice for those transitioning out of surgery (yes, everyone will be OK!). 

She can be found at Medical Minds Consulting here or www,medicalmindsconsulting.com

This episode is for you if:

- You are thinking about transitioning out of surgery as your commitment runs it's course. 

- You want to know more about tips to sustain your surgical career

- You want to know more about coaching and thought work

- You want to know more about boundaries

 Find more information about BOSS here or www.BOSSsurgery.com

Episode 13: Doing what you love is not selfish with Dr. Janelle Wagner

Hello Surgeons!

The latest podcast episode talks about experiences we can all relate to- changing our mind from what we think we want to do, becoming a new attending and the desire to change a struggling system. 

Dr. Janelle Wagner is a plastic surgeon with additional fellowship training in hand surgery. She did not follow the traditional path. She initially went into TV after college thinking that she wanted to be famous. But a less than satisfying job had her questioning her career choices. 

She decided to return to school to be an OB/gyn, but that didn't fit either. She followed her interests and found the right path for her. She is now a successful plastic surgeon with a flexible career and started a business called "Money Med School" where she helps others learn how to manage their money. 

She had great advice on dealing with a challenging system. 

- Is your system amenable to change?

- Do you have supportive administration? 

- Do your colleagues want this change, too?

- Are the changes in line with your institution's goals? 

- Am I valued here? 

- You are the most important factor to consider and that is NOT selfish. Your wellness matters. You are not going to help anyone if you are not taken care of first. 

- You are never trapped

"Doing something you love is NOT selfish" - Dr. Wagner

Dr. Wagner's website is moneymedschool.com
Instagram and Facebook @moneymedschool

YouTube.com/c/MoneyMedSchool

You can find more information about Dr. Vertrees and the BOSS Business of Surgery Series at www.BOSSsurgery.com 

Boss Business of Surgery Series – Episode 18

Life Without Limits: Endurance, Gaslighting, and Reclaiming Yourself with Dr. Julie Riley

In this episode of the Boss Business of Surgery Series, Dr. Amy Vertrees speaks with Dr. Julie Riley, urologist, academic surgeon, residency program director, and newly minted Ultraman triathlete, about endurance—both on the racecourse and in a surgical career.

Dr. Riley shares the extraordinary journey that led her to complete an Ultraman triathlon: a three-day endurance event involving a 6.2-mile swim, 262 miles of cycling, and a 52.4-mile run. But this episode goes far beyond athletics. It is a conversation about identity, isolation, gaslighting, coaching, boundaries, and choosing a life without artificial limits.

Through her racing experience and career transition, Dr. Riley illustrates how surgeons often place invisible ceilings on themselves—and how community, self-trust, and asking for help can change everything.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What an Ultraman triathlon actually involves—and why it’s as much mental as physical

• How endurance training mirrors the emotional challenges of a surgical career

• Why isolation is one of the biggest threats to surgeon well-being

• How defining success before you start protects joy and resilience

• Why persistence often matters more than speed or talent

• How gaslighting shows up in professional environments—and why it’s so disorienting

• How repeated mixed messages erode self-trust over time

• The role coaching plays in recognizing unhealthy dynamics

• Why leaving a “good” job can be harder than leaving a bad one

• How COVID created a “great pause” that clarified values for many surgeons

• Why asking for help is not weakness—but a performance advantage

• How community and support fuel both endurance racing and career transitions

• How to recover confidence after a difficult job experience

• Why processing your experience matters more than giving feedback

• How boundaries, clarity, and self-respect shape better professional outcomes

Key themes:

• There are no fixed limits—only chosen ones

• Isolation magnifies struggle; community multiplies strength

• Self-kindness improves performance

• Success is persistence, not perfection

• You don’t have to do hard things alone

• Trusting yourself is a skill that can be rebuilt

Resources mentioned:

• Boss Business of Surgery Series

• It’s Complicated course: bosssurgery.com/itscomplicatedcourse

• Group and individual coaching

• Endurance athletics as a framework for resilience

This episode is a powerful listen for surgeons who feel stuck, isolated, or quietly questioning whether there might be more available to them. Dr. Riley’s story is a reminder that endurance isn’t about suffering through—it’s about choosing support, redefining success, and allowing yourself to grow beyond the limits you never needed in the first place.

Boss Business of Surgery Series – Episode 20

When Everything Changes: Illness, Identity, and What Truly Matters with Dr. Maura Lipp

In this deeply moving episode of the Boss Business of Surgery Series, Dr. Amy Vertrees speaks with Dr. Maura Lipp, an ICU physician whose career and life have been shaped by extraordinary challenges—including frontline work during H1N1 and COVID, a diagnosis of chronic illness, and a life-altering diagnosis of stage IV metastatic cancer.

Dr. Lipp shares the moment her world changed overnight, how quickly identity can be stripped away when illness intervenes, and what it means to navigate medicine not as the physician—but as the patient. This conversation explores grief, perspective, palliative care, disability, finances, identity loss, and the quiet resilience required to live day-to-day when the future is uncertain.

This episode is not only about illness. It is about meaning, dignity, relationships, and redefining “enough.”

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How subtle symptoms led to a sudden diagnosis of widely metastatic cancer

• What it feels like to receive devastating news as a physician—and as a human being

• The emotional weight of telling loved ones a diagnosis you never expected

• How quickly professional identity can disappear when illness intervenes

• Why losing work involuntarily feels different than choosing to step away

• How perspectives on mid-career dissatisfaction change when work is taken away

• The emotional complexity of hope, grief, and uncertainty

• How lived experience reshapes how physicians understand palliative care

• Why palliative care early in illness is essential—not optional

• The loneliness of serious illness and the importance of support systems

• Why asking for help is hard for physicians—and why it matters

• How allowing others to help is a gift to them, not a burden

• The identity crisis that comes when work has defined your life

• Why preserving parts of yourself outside medicine matters

• How to think about what you would take—and leave—from your career

• The often-overlooked realities of disability insurance and financial planning

• Why individual disability insurance is critical for physicians

• How quickly income can change—and what physicians rarely understand about offsets

• What truly matters when everything else falls away

Key themes:

• Identity beyond medicine

• Illness as an unchosen transition

• Grief for a life interrupted

• Redefining success and “enough”

• The power of presence and community

• Letting go of trivial worries

• Living intentionally when time feels fragile

Resources discussed:

• Palliative care as part of comprehensive cancer care

• Disability insurance considerations for physicians

• Boss Business of Surgery Series: https://bosssurgery.com 

This episode is essential listening for physicians at any stage of career—especially those navigating burnout, illness, identity shifts, or major life transitions. Dr. Lipp’s honesty, humility, and wisdom remind us that life is fragile, medicine is not our only worth, and the things that matter most are often the ones we overlook until everything else is stripped away.

Boss Business of Surgery Series – Episode 26

You Don’t Need Permission: Entrepreneurship, Burnout, and Choosing Your Own Path with Dr. Sharon McLaughlin

In this episode of the Boss Business of Surgery Series, Dr. Amy Vertrees sits down with Dr. Sharon McLaughlin, plastic surgeon, entrepreneur, founder of the Female Physician Entrepreneurs Facebook group, and creator of Mind Lull, to talk about career autonomy, entrepreneurship, and the power of making decisions without asking for permission.

Dr. McLaughlin shares her personal journey through burnout, career transition, and reinvention—closing a surgical practice, navigating utilization management roles, and ultimately building physician-focused business communities. This episode offers practical insight for physicians who feel stuck, restless, or quietly questioning whether the path they’re on is still the right one.

At its core, this conversation is about listening to your intuition, building financial and emotional flexibility, and creating a life that actually works for you.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How burnout can quietly build—even in a “successful” surgical career

• Why questioning your career path doesn’t mean you’ve failed

• The danger of making abrupt career changes without mentorship or planning

• Why having a coach or mentor during transitions can save years of stress

• What it means to stop explaining yourself—and why you don’t owe anyone justification

• How intuition shows up when something is no longer aligned

• Why entrepreneurship appeals to physicians seeking autonomy and creativity

• How business ownership can coexist with (or even improve) a medical career

• Why financial planning and early investing create freedom of choice later

• How living “up to your salary” can trap you in decisions you no longer want

• The importance of building community before you need it

• Why most businesses fail—and how planning prevents that

• How physicians’ skills naturally translate to speaking, consulting, and business leadership

• Why consistency matters more than hustle

• How overwhelm is often a planning problem—not a motivation problem

Key themes:

• Autonomy over obligation

• Intuition as legitimate data

• Burnout as a signal, not a weakness

• Financial literacy as freedom

• Entrepreneurship as a creative outlet

• Community as a catalyst for growth

• Planning as an antidote to overwhelm

Resources mentioned:

• Female Physician Entrepreneurs Facebook Group

• Mind Lull (focus and productivity tools): https://mindlull.com 

• Boss Business of Surgery Series: https://bosssurgery.com 

This episode is a must-listen for physicians who feel pulled toward something different but aren’t sure how—or whether—they’re “allowed” to want more. Dr. McLaughlin’s message is clear and freeing: you get to choose, you don’t need permission, and you’re allowed to change your mind.

Boss Business of Surgery Series – Episode 65

Medicine, Marriage, and Money: How Strong Relationships Set You Free with Dr. Kate Mangona

In this episode of the Boss Business of Surgery Series, Dr. Amy Vertrees speaks with Dr. Kate Mangona, pediatric radiologist, physician coach, real-estate investor, and founder of Medicine, Marriage, and Money, about the invisible dynamics shaping physicians’ lives at home and at work.

Dr. Mangona shares how intentional work on marriage, money, and mindset can dramatically improve freedom, fulfillment, and sustainability—both personally and professionally. Drawing from her experience as a physician married to a physician, a mother of three, a business owner, and a relationship coach, she offers a compassionate framework for navigating partnership without resentment, overfunctioning, or burnout.

This episode is about reclaiming connection—without sacrificing ambition, empathy, or autonomy.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why relationship strain often shows up as irritability, resentment, or emotional exhaustion

• How physicians unintentionally fall into the “parent–child” dynamic with their spouse

• Why treating your partner like a third child destroys intimacy and connection

• How stories—not circumstances—drive conflict in marriage

• Why getting specific about daily frustrations creates real change

• How reconnecting with your original love story can reignite closeness

• Why advice doesn’t work—and awareness does

• How empathy becomes draining when boundaries are missing

• How to stop absorbing your partner’s emotions without disconnecting

• Why emotional neutrality is a skill that can be learned

• How financial collaboration can increase freedom instead of stress

• Why investing time in marriage yields the highest return of any relationship

• How entropy affects relationships when they’re not actively tended

• Why outsourcing and support systems protect high-performing physicians

• How to recognize when your relationship needs intentional repair—not endurance

Key themes:

• Connection over control

• Awareness instead of blame

• Boundaries without withdrawal

• Empathy without emotional overload

• Partnership as a performance advantage

• Relationships as an investment—not an afterthought

Resources mentioned:

• Medical Marriage Survival Guide (18-page guide + workbook)

• Six-Day Marriage Challenge (based on predictors of divorce)

• Gottman Method principles

• Medicine, Marriage, and Money: https://medicinemarriageandmoney.com 

• Instagram: @katemangonemd

• Boss Business of Surgery Series: https://bosssurgery.com 

This episode is essential listening for physicians who feel stretched thin, emotionally reactive, or disconnected at home—and who suspect that strengthening their closest relationship might be the key to greater freedom everywhere else. Dr. Mangona’s message is clear: when medicine, marriage, and money are aligned, life feels lighter—and more intentional.

Boss Business of Surgery Series – Episode 72

Visibility, Voice, and Leading With Integrity

with Ngozi Ude, MD

In this episode of the Boss Business of Surgery Series, Dr. Amy Vertrees speaks with Dr. Ngozi Ude, surgeon and physician leader, about navigating visibility in medicine — and how to lead with clarity and integrity when scrutiny, expectations, and bias are part of the landscape.

Dr. Ude shares her experiences practicing and leading in environments where being seen can feel both empowering and risky. Together, they explore how underrepresented physicians are often expected to manage perception, represent others, and perform at higher standards — all while remaining composed and grateful. This conversation reframes visibility not as a burden to manage, but as a platform for principled leadership and self-trust.

This episode centers on voice, boundaries, and choosing integrity over self-erasure.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why visibility in medicine can feel high-stakes

• How scrutiny changes behavior and decision-making

• Why many physicians learn to self-monitor and self-silence

• How bias shows up in subtle, cumulative ways

• Why excellence does not eliminate unequal expectations

• How code-switching and impression management drain energy

• Why leadership requires clarity about values

• How to speak with authority without overexplaining

• Why boundaries protect credibility and well-being

• How internal validation steadies external pressure

• Why representation comes with both opportunity and responsibility

• How to decide when to speak — and when not to

• Why integrity matters more than approval

• How self-trust reduces reactivity

• Why leadership doesn’t require perfection

• How visibility can be used intentionally rather than defensively

• Why authenticity strengthens influence

• How choosing yourself sustains long-term leadership

Key themes:

• Visibility without clarity creates strain

• Integrity anchors leadership

• Self-trust steadies external pressure

• Boundaries protect voice and energy

• Excellence is not a shield against bias

• You are allowed to take up space

• Leadership does not require self-erasure

• Sustainability requires internal alignment

Resources & mentions:

• Boss Business of Surgery Series: https://bosssurgery.com 

• Become the Boss MD

• Leadership and physician-support resources

This episode is essential listening for surgeons who feel hyper-visible, carefully scrutinized, or uncertain how to lead without shrinking themselves. Dr. Ude’s perspective offers clarity and permission: you don’t need to disappear to lead with integrity — your voice, values, and presence matter.

Boss Business of Surgery Series – Episode 76

Emotional Intelligence in Surgery: Awareness, Regulation, and Better Leadership

with Alice Horrell, MD

In this episode of the Boss Business of Surgery Series, Dr. Amy Vertrees speaks with Dr. Alice Horrell, surgeon and physician leader, about emotional intelligence — what it actually means in high-stakes surgical environments, and why it is one of the most underdeveloped (and undervalued) skills in medicine.

Dr. Horrell breaks down emotional intelligence into practical, usable components, helping surgeons understand how awareness, regulation, and communication directly impact decision-making, team dynamics, patient care, and burnout risk. Rather than framing emotions as distractions or liabilities, this conversation reframes emotional intelligence as a core clinical and leadership competency.

This episode offers surgeons language and tools for navigating pressure without suppressing humanity.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What emotional intelligence really means in surgical practice

• Why surgeons are trained to minimize or override emotions

• How emotional suppression contributes to burnout and reactivity

• The difference between emotional awareness and emotional control

• Why unrecognized emotions affect judgment and communication

• How regulation improves clarity in high-pressure moments

• Why emotional intelligence strengthens — not weakens — authority

• How emotionally intelligent leaders build trust and psychological safety

• Why conflict often escalates when emotions go unnamed

• How self-awareness reduces defensiveness and miscommunication

• Why surgeons are not taught these skills during training

• How emotional intelligence improves team performance

• Why regulating yourself is the first step to leading others

• How emotions provide data, not danger

• Why empathy does not equal emotional labor

• How emotionally intelligent boundaries protect energy

• Why developing these skills supports longevity in practice

• How emotional intelligence improves life outside the OR

Key themes:

• Emotions are information, not interference

• Awareness precedes regulation

• Suppression increases burnout risk

• Emotional intelligence strengthens leadership

• Calm improves clinical judgment

• Self-regulation protects teams and patients

• These skills can be learned

• Humanity and competence are not opposites

Resources & mentions:

• Boss Business of Surgery Series: https://bosssurgery.com 

• Become the Boss MD

• Leadership and emotional-intelligence resources for physicians

This episode is essential listening for surgeons who feel reactive under pressure, misunderstood by teams, or exhausted by the emotional demands of leadership. Dr. Horrell’s message is clear and empowering: emotional intelligence is not a “soft skill” — it’s a foundational skill for safe, sustainable, and effective surgical practice.

Episode 148: Planning Webinar Replay with Dr. Amy Vertrees

The meeting record transcript covers a comprehensive discussion on effective planning and time management strategies tailored for busy professionals, particularly surgeons. The speaker shares personal experiences, insights, and practical tips on various aspects of planning, including the importance of dedicated growth days, consolidating tasks and information in one place, utilizing planners and journals, managing emails, delegating tasks, and minimizing drama. The key takeaways emphasize the significance of being proactive, prioritizing self-care, and adopting a mindset of being the leader and creator of one's life rather than a mere reactor. The speaker also highlights the value of self-reflection, goal-setting, and aligning daily actions with long-term aspirations.

Chapters

Introduction to Planning

The speaker introduces the topic of planning one's life, acknowledging its importance and the common challenges faced by busy professionals, particularly surgeons, in effectively managing their time and tasks. The speaker encourages self-reflection on the reasons for not planning effectively and shares personal experiences and insights.

The Importance of Growth Days

The speaker emphasizes the critical role of dedicated growth days, which are days off from work, to allow for rest, rejuvenation, and creative thinking. The speaker suggests scheduling two growth days per month and treating them as non-negotiable appointments with oneself.

Consolidating Tasks and Information

The speaker recommends consolidating all tasks, information, and paperwork in one central location, such as a designated box or folder. This approach helps maintain a clear overview of pending tasks and reduces the risk of forgetting or overlooking important items.

Utilizing Planners and Journals

The speaker discusses various planning tools and techniques, including the Bullet Journal, the Purpose Planner, and creating specialized pages for tracking goals, habits, and progress. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding a system that aligns with one's personal preferences and strengths.

Email Management

The speaker provides strategies for effective email management, such as unsubscribing from unnecessary emails, creating folders for organization, and setting aside dedicated time for email processing. The goal is to minimize the time spent on email and reduce the potential for distraction.

Delegating Tasks

The speaker highlights the importance of delegating tasks to others, whether it's family members, colleagues, or hired assistants. Delegating effectively can free up valuable time and energy, allowing for better focus on priorities. The speaker also discusses common pitfalls in delegation and the need to develop effective delegation skills.

Minimizing Drama

The speaker emphasizes the significance of minimizing drama and unnecessary stress in one's life. Drama is often a result of overthinking, mind-reading, and engaging in unproductive thought patterns. The speaker encourages adopting a mindset of focusing on facts and avoiding unnecessary emotional turmoil.

Self-Reflection and Goal-Setting

The speaker discusses the value of self-reflection and goal-setting, suggesting monthly exercises to identify areas for improvement, set intentions, and align daily actions with long-term aspirations. The speaker also shares personal experiences and examples of how self-reflection can lead to positive changes and a more fulfilling life.

Action Items

1. Schedule two dedicated growth days per month, treating them as non-negotiable appointments with oneself.
2. Consolidate all tasks, information, and paperwork in one central location, such as a designated box or folder.
3. Find a planning system that aligns with personal preferences and strengths, whether it's the Bullet Journal, the Purpose Planner, or another tool.
4. Implement effective email management strategies, such as unsubscribing from unnecessary emails, creating folders for organization, and setting aside dedicated time for email processing.
5. Identify tasks that can be delegated to others, whether it's family members, colleagues, or hired assistants, and develop effective delegation skills.
6. Adopt a mindset of minimizing drama and unnecessary stress by focusing on facts and avoiding unproductive thought patterns.
7. Engage in monthly self-reflection exercises to identify areas for improvement, set intentions, and align daily actions with long-term aspirations.

Episode 154: The Purposeful MD with Dr. Laura Sutton

The article is an interview with Dr. Laura Sutton, a family practice physician and author of the book 'The Purposeful M.D.: Creating the Life You Love Without Guilt'. The discussion revolves around her motivation for writing the book, the challenges physicians face in managing their time effectively, and the strategies she offers to help readers find more time and energy in their lives. Dr. Sutton shares insights from her coaching experience, emphasizing the importance of setting realistic goals, reframing expectations, and asking for help. The book aims to guide readers through a transformative journey, enabling them to create intentional and fulfilling lives while strengthening relationships and improving overall well-being.

Chapters

Dr. Sutton's Motivation for Writing the Book

Initially, Dr. Sutton doubted her ability to write a book, considering herself a physician rather than a writer. However, after receiving positive feedback on her blog posts and articles, she realized her enjoyment in writing and its potential to help others. This realization, coupled with encouragement from others, motivated her to embark on the journey of writing 'The Purposeful M.D.'.

Time Management Challenges for Physicians

Physicians face significant challenges in managing their time effectively. Dr. Sutton explains that during their training, physicians are conditioned to say 'yes' to every request, fearing negative consequences like failing a rotation or losing opportunities. This ingrained habit of prioritizing others' needs over their own makes it difficult for physicians to set boundaries and say 'no' later in their careers, leading to overwhelming demands and a lack of time for personal pursuits.

Strategies for Finding More Time and Energy

The book offers strategies to help readers find more time and energy in their lives. Dr. Sutton emphasizes the importance of setting specific and realistic goals, reframing expectations, and being honest with oneself about what is achievable. She encourages readers to journal and take action on the concepts learned, as well as to seek support from others. Additionally, Dr. Sutton highlights the benefits of automating tasks and making things easier for oneself, rather than adhering to ideals that may not align with one's current circumstances.

The Transformed Life After Reading the Book

After reading the book, readers can expect to experience freedom of time, with their time being spent intentionally across various aspects of their lives. They will have increased energy, as the book helps alleviate the mental burden of overwhelming demands and unrealistic expectations. Stronger relationships are also a potential outcome, as Dr. Sutton encourages readers to ask for help and empower those around them. Overall, the book aims to guide readers towards better physical and emotional health, enabling them to create the life they desire.

Action Items

1. Identify specific and realistic goals for finding more time and energy in your life.
2. Reframe expectations and be honest with yourself about what is achievable in your current circumstances.
3. Journal and take action on the concepts learned from the book.
4. Seek support from others, such as coaches or accountability partners.
5. Automate tasks and make things easier for yourself, rather than adhering to ideals that may not align with your current situation.
6. Ask for help from those around you, empowering them and strengthening relationships.
7. Prioritize self-care and activities that contribute to your physical and emotional well-being.